How To Eat Jerk Chicken Wraps With Your Whole Face
May 22, 2009 by Angeli · 13 Comments
It’s true, my husband eats Jerk Chicken wraps with his whole face.
in fact, his whole body. So engrossed is he with the waves of taste and utter culinary pleasure that take over him, a thousand Elvis’ could be hip-swiveling and rocking behind him singing ‘Blue Suede Shoes’ at the top of their voices and he would still fail to notice.
He’s so completely lost in-the-moment that nothing else registers with him to prevent his total, instant, demolition of Jerk Chicken wraps. I swear that i can almost see his body shudder as he takes the first mouthful. What i definitely can see are his eyes rolling to the back of his head and then his head lifting towards the heavens in a quasi-religious experience. It’s like he’s mystically channelling some sort of Gourmet-God. Soon after, his feet then begin to dance a little Celtic jig as the taste of the chicken, herbs and spices hit-the-right-spot.
Then comes the use of, what seems, his whole face to extract every atom of sensation from the food. His entire head appears to begin slowly opening and closing as he masticates the wrap with great purpose. Apparently King Cobras can dislocate their lower jaw in order to consume animals larger than the orifice would otherwise allow. When it comes to devouring my wraps, I swear my husband has the same anatomical ability.
Chomp, chomp, chomp. A cacophony of eating noises accompany.
It’s quiet and slow at first, then as he engages his complete face to eat, they build to a throaty, chaotic crescendo of deep guttural and alto ejaculations of perverted sounds.
I’m sure it must be some sort of crime-against-humanity to eat food in this way. But then i remember he’s my husband and not a neanderthal interloper, so i manage to prevent myself from calling the police. It’s ridiculous really. He’s a grown man (allegedly).
Don’t get me wrong, i love my husband dearly.
I call him The Shrek. He stands 185cm tall in his stocking feet (currently the left one has a hole in the toe). Weighing in at nearly 95 kilo, he is still mostly muscle and bone, but the adipose fat is beginning to cloak his once athletic body, like a padded gold-lame jump suit worn by The King himself. And, of course, being The Shrek he speaks in a lovely, lilting Scottish accent.
In fact, i can hear his Celtic voice, in my head as i write, asking for another fistfull of Jerk Chicken wraps.
So, in order to gift you the recipe but spare you the theatrical eating performance of The Shrek:
JERK CHICKEN
Peppercorns by ToniVC
500g (1Ib) of raw chicken breast meat
1.5 teas mild curry powder
1 clove garlic
1 med onion(or 2 small shallot onions)
a sprig of fresh thyme/1 teas dried
2.5cm x 1cm(1inchx1/4inch) piece of green scotch bonnet pepper*
1 teas cocoa powder
1/2 teas allspice/pimento
1/2 teas juniper berries
1/2teas black and red peppercorns
1teas balsamic vinegar
juice of 1 lime
2 tablespoons brown sugar/demerara sugar
3 fresh medium tomatoes
1 teas Angostura bitters
1/2 teas salt
Spare bowl
*The green scotch bonnet although milder, will still give heat – so if preparing this for children, cut down on the pepper.
PANCAKE MIX
350ml(12floz)milk
3/4cup(4oz )Wholemeal flour
1 tbsp sunflower cooking oil
2 med eggs
Pinch of salt
I use the 1/4 cup measure (approx 60ml/2floz) to scoop up and pour out mix – it gives approx 11-12 pancakes using a 23cm (9”) frying pan.
First, cut the chicken breasts into strips(aprox 8cm x1cm/3″ x 1/2″), place into a bowl with clean water, squeeze in half a lime and wash meat. Next, crush and chop garlic, chop onion, and chop pepper into small pieces.
Grind Pimento seeds,peppercorns, and Juniper berries down as finely as you can, with a pestle and morter.(if you don’t own one, then place seeds between a clean kitchen towel and bash with a rolling pin)
Chop tomatoes.
Prepare the rest of the jerk seasoning, and add all to the meat.
Using your hands* mix all the ingredients together, so that the meat is totally coated.
Set aside – ideally overnight, but for at least 1/2hr.
Once the meat has been prepared, Prepare your pancake mix.
Simply put all ingredients into a large bowl and whisk well, making sure that the end result is a nice smooth batter. Set aside.
Before you can fry the meat, you need to scrape off as much of the seasoning as you can, placing scraped off chicken in a seperate bowl. Don’t throw away seasoning, pour in approx 250ml(1/2pt) warm water making sure all the seasoning is incorporated into water. Set aside.
To fry chicken, heat aprox 60ml(4tbsp) cooking oil in pan over a med high heat- you know the oil is ready, by sprinkling into it, a small pinchful of breadcrumbs or flour – it will sizzle immediately. Place chicken pieces into oil, fry on both sides until golden brown. Take pan off heat, remove meat and drain off oil.
Pour the water with seasoning into pan and replace onto stove bringing to the boil. Add Meat, lower heat and simmer for approx 20 minutes.
Once meat is simmering, take out pancake mix and give a good whisk.
Heat frying pan, lubricate base with a smear of oil, or spray on oil. Cook pancakes, making sure base of pan is always lubricated.
Once your meat is cooked, remove from the liquid, which should have reduced down while simmering. Take the cooking liquid and strain into a bowl/jug – you have your Jerk Chicken sauce!
Assemble your pancake wrap by placing some meat, together with some lettuce, cucumber,or sweet pepper etc. onto the pancake, and wrapping tortilla style.
Well, there it is. Please let me know what you think. I love comments, questions and viewpoints on my blog so please leave comments below.
Love, Laughter & Food for All
Angeli
Caribbean Food: Ackee & Saltfish, Orgasms & Oil Lamps
May 14, 2009 by Angeli · 15 Comments
Ackee and Saltfish is delicious. Seriously delicious.
It has a light, meltingly-soft texture, an exquisite subtle taste, and is perfect to accompany more robust, strong, flavours. That is, as long as you get the balance right otherwise you can overpower and lose it. I find that the drier you cook it, within reason, the better it tastes. Nowadays it’s available, canned, in many supermarkets around the world.
But, fresh ackee is orgasmic!
My Grandma Liz lived in the hills of Jamaica. Hers was a little house with a verandah situated on a big hill with sheer drops on three sides; you could sit and admire spectacular views. Her yard was full of chickens bullying the cockeral who, in turn, harassed Bingo the guard dog.
The heavy heat in those hills, the animal noises, the smells and the tastes are forever ingrained deeply into my senses. So deep that i’m sure i’ve passed them onto my daughter in her DNA!
She had no electricity and used oil lamps. Liz even used an old victorian iron to press out clothes. Her ‘kitchen’ was a revelation. There was no oven; she cooked by wood fire but it produced the most exquisite food. I remember particularly her cocoa tea, split-pea puri and, of course, roti and curry . In addition, she grew all manner of exotica – breadfruit, jackfruit, cacao, and ackee to name a few.
As a girl I remember tasting, for the first time, her fresh ackee cooked with spices and saltfish. I nearly fainted with pleasure.
I wish I could take you to those hills and the waves of heat and smells. I can’t but I can give you a little taster, by having you try her traditional recipe for ackee and saltfish:
Picture of Ackee by Chris Gordon
1 x 500g (1lb) tin of ackee
200g (6oz) dried salt cod
approx. 2tbs (30ml) sunflower cooking oil
2 medium onions (I prefer Shallots – nice flavour)
1 clove garlic
1 sprig fresh thyme or 1teas dried thyme
2 medium tomatoes
1/4 red scotch bonnet pepper
some crushed black peppercorns
In a jug pour 160ml ,6fl oz water
1tbs (15ml) malt or cider vinegar
pinch of salt
Half fill a large pot – approx. 25cm (10″) width – with water, add all of the vinegar and bring to the boil. Add fish. Boil for approx. 45 minutes changing the water half way through this process in order to remove as much excess salt as possible.
Drain and place in cold water to cool down. Remove bones and skin of the fish breaking it down into small pieces or flakes. Then set aside.
Slice the onions into small, thin, pieces. Crush, peel and slice the garlic clove. Wash and chop tomatoes. Cut the pepper into tiny strips. Set aside.
Carefully empty ackee into a large sieve, pour just boiled water over the ackee, gently giving it a shake as you don’t want it to disintigrate too much, place ackee into a deep dish sprinkle with a pinch of salt and add freshly boiled water. Set aside.
Over a med hot flame heat the oil in a frying pan, then add the onion. Once softened, add the thyme and lower to a med flame, add the tomatoes, garlic and scotch bonnet pepper, cook for approx. a minute.
Add the fish and 1/2 the water in the jug (approx. 80ml, 3fl oz).Cook down further for approx. 2-3mins,
Lower heat further, drain off ackee and gently add to the pan. Fold ackee into mixture adding the rest of water in the jug ,and heat through for aprox 4 mins.
Finally sprinkle some freshly crushed black peppercorns on top (to taste) and your dish is ready, it will serve 2 as a main course, or 4 as a starter.
At some point in the future i will make a video of this so you can see how i do it. I will also blog, sometime in the future, on what you can eat with ackee and saltfish. What to drink with it. And, also, different versions of this dish, using alternative ingredients.
My friends, that’s it. My first ever blog. If you like it please tell others about it. I’m new at this and it is only thro’ meeting some wonderful people on the internet asking me to write a blog that I decided to do so.
Love, Laughter & Food
Angeli (*_*)
I Adore Caribbean Food
May 11, 2009 by Angeli · 3 Comments
Okay, i’m not going to hide it any longer.
Don’t laugh, i want the whole world to taste, and love, caribbean food. MyCaribbeanFood.com will cover:
traditional caribbean food – made from ingredients from the caribbean islands (thankfully, most of these ingredients are now available in supermarkets around the world)
fusion caribbean food – which mixes indian, chinese, latino, mexican, jewish, japanese food and much more (resulting in some fabulous dishes that have to be tasted to be believed)…
modern caribbean food – using non-traditional ingredients, but done in an island-style making them unmistakably caribbean both in flavour and spirit (and using foods that can be found easily in your supermarket).
So, that’s my mission, and the purpose of my little website on caribbean food.
Wish me luck,
Angeli. 
XXX